Validation is key…

Sometimes….no, most of the time, it is the little things that make the difference…that put the pep in your step…the song on your lips…and if truth be told…the joy in the doing…

We are strange creatures we humans…we say one thing…posture to another…state indifference…get hurt by the neglect…show attitude…often in spite of oneself…whereas all we really want is to feel heard…acknowledged…understood…appreciated. We need the expressions of acknowledgment and affirmation…as William James so rightly said…The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated! This is how the Good Lord made us…but we go against our nature and forget that as another wise man said…the ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something…but to be something! Truly wise words…words to live by…for oneself and for others…

All relationships require this…we do however go to great lengths to hide this…show nonchalance…act and posture to the contrary…to no avail! Relationships require emotional validation…the skill of emotional validation is a vital one…one that needs to be nurtured and demonstrated. Validation is what helps people to share feelings…emotions and…themselves…it is not said without reason that…Feelings of worth can only flourish in an atmosphere of tolerance…open communication and…appreciation…

The readership on my last post and last week was the most ever since I have started writing…it makes my heart sing…I want to thank you all…God bless…

May you live every day of your life. Jonathan Swift.

The compasses that guide us…

It seems only fitting, given my beliefs and aspirations, that the first blogpost I have written this year is about…Faith and Family. As the Marquise de Sevigne said…”We cannot destroy kindred, our chains stretch a little sometimes…but they never break.” These are the ties that need to be cultivated with time…effort…imagination…patience and…love…often, on a fairly on-going basis…and all to good avail….

I feel that at the beginning of each New Year, these feelings are really more at the fore, the sense of a renewal of faith…life…opportunities…chances, prompts us to want to help cultivate more loving…caring and flourishing relationships…with family and friends…as also to better the relationship and effort with our work…interests…and above all…our relationship with the Good Lord! 

Our moral…emotional…spiritual compass is so much more active and alert at this point of time…the New Year seems a new beginning. Intentions…resolves are so much more emotionally and mentally charged…carrying this onwards at a more sustainable pace is hoped for…but often, like many good resolves, there is slowing down of effort, sometimes due to lack of result…feedback…visible or desirable outcomes and effects. What we often forget is, that the Good Lord does answer our prayers…only sometimes the answer is…Not Yet. Accepting His blessings with humility and accepting that as in all relationships, constancy…perseverance…continuity of effort…tenacity of resolve, is of the essence, and to be worked towards…the prayer is as always, for the Good Lord’s grace…

Family…

With every good intention of being more regular with this Blog…I have started the New Year by slipping up on this resolve! I will at this point cling to the adage that…the road to Heaven is paved with good intentions…and resolves are made to be broken…as much as I do not really believe the latter…however…the last few weeks have been filled with so much family happiness…fun…togetherness…the Good Lord’s Grace…the living in the moment…relishing every happy time together…although we have missed those not here and those who choose to stay away…the joy of the ‘present’ just took precedence once again on my musings…

Times like these are as always, renewals of latent understandings of the real ‘comfort zones’ of our lives. These are times when we realize once again that there is really nothing more important to us than our…family…that the love and  that the bond we share with our family is the most defining and definitive aspect of ourself…they are our compass…our inspiration…our motivating force…our comfort zone par excellence…the family is one of nature’s masterpieces…you may disagree at times…but…in time, we all come to understand and appreciate this hard fact of life…

Some of my favorite quotes about Family…

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.

Desmond Tutu.

There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.

A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, “where mother is.”

The family…that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.

Call it a clan, call it a tribe, call it a network, call it a family…whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one!

No matter what you have done for yourself or humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your family, what have you really accomplished?